Some of my couples have said that they just want to get the ceremony over and done with because they just want to say as little as possible and quickly move onto party time because of how scared and anxious they’ll be. I get that, but I want you to change the way you’re thinking about the ceremony so it becomes the part you are looking forward to the most

Ask yourself…‘how do we want to feel on our wedding day?’

I think you’re answers could be - happy, excited, possibly anxious but still excited, ready, nervous, relieved, exhausted maybe?…. These are the feelings I also felt, so I want to share a few tips on how to alleviate the anxious and nervous feelings somewhat.

Nerves and fear are expected because this is our body responding to a entirely new situation where the build up and the expectations can feel very high. Embrace those feelings but allow yourself to get excited! It’s a celebration after all, not a solemn occasion (despite what “The Monitum” may say)

Think about the parts that may be giving you a sense of overwhelm…

Walking down the aisle
Waiting for your partner to arrive
Saying personal vows in front of everyone
Public display of affection
Telling your story in front of friends and family (What to leave in or what to leave out)
Family conflict affecting the day

Now I want to share a few suggestions to help with those parts of the ceremony….

Walking down the aisle

In most situations, one person will walk down the aisle as the other person waits at the end for you. Your celebrant or musician is playing a song during this time as you enter the ceremony space. Your heart is racing and you’re frantically rubbing the roof of your mouth with your tongue to stop the tears from coming down! Everyone is quietly looking on and vibing your song choice as you make your way down to your love. This is lovely, and it’s the most common entrance chosen by couples because it’s the way it’s always been done. But what if you treated this moment a little differently?

What if you channeled that nervous energy and let it work for you, not against you.

What if you actively embraced the electric energy you two have created just by being there and willingly sharing your love story with the ones you love all there to celebrate you!

We can do this by letting people know at the very beginning that it’s okay to clap and cheer when you both arrive and throughout the day. I strongly encourage this because I want everyone to smile, hug and high five you as you each walk in!

First thing to do is to choose the song you want to hear. It doesn’t have to be a romantic love song, it can be any song at all. I have plenty of suggestions on my wedding playlist but you do you.

Secondly, think about picking an aisle song each

Meaning; one person and their wedding party will walk in first, followed by person two with their wedding party.

By doing it this way you avoid having one very nervous person standing there at the end of the aisle with everyone closely watching to see if they’ll crack. Instead; both of you will get a rapturous entrance that really sets the vibes high! So fun

If you’re worried your walk in will be slightly diminished and you’ll miss the quiet romance of that first look, don’t be. You’ll never regret how happy you felt seeing your love and listening to the sounds of celebration all around you. It’s the perfect way to start the your day on a high. There will be plenty of time during the ceremony within your vows/ personal story for the sentiment and emotions to come through and shine. Tears are guaranteed to flow from your family in the front row as you both hear about the key moments that got you from then to now.

Waiting for your partner to arrive

If only one person does the walk down the aisle, then that leaves the other one there waiting for you to arrive. This can definitely make you feel anxious and nervous. One way to fill those awkward minutes while we wait is to ask the person waiting to introduce his/her/their wedding party. I always love how chatty they become whilst holding the microphone! It’s hilarious and heart warming and before you know we are ready to begin

Saying personal vows in front of everyone

If the mere thought of saying personal vows in front of everyone is already give you grief, then rethink how you approach this.

You could skip them altogether (you aren’t legally obligated to say personal vows)

Or say just a few lines along with your legal sentence (a short sentence that you’ll need to say to make your marriage legally valid in Australia)

Say your personal vows before or after the ceremony, when it’s just the two of you. You could then leave the palm cards, vow book or letters that contain the vows on the signing table at the reception. This way everyone can read them if they’d like too.

If you’re worried that you’ll lose the personal touch by minimising the vows, then don’t be because your celebrant can add some lovely personal words on your behalf when they are telling your story in front of friends and family. The questionnaire you fill in, and the stories you’ve shared with me during the planning phase will help me with this.

Public displays of affection

There are so many reasons why couples aren’t wanting to show a lot of affection during the ceremony, and your people will understand and know this about you two so don’t worry. You can cuddle and kiss at will when you are in your own little private space. Just do you at all times - no judgement

Family conflict

This can be a tricky one for you to navigate when thinking of families or friends who aren’t on the best of terms. Seat warring people away from each other. Maybe surround then with peacemakers and a little space. Hopefully they just keep emotion out of the situation and be on best behaviour at all times. If it’s your parents who don’t get along then think about delegating small jobs to all of them to keep them busy, and most importantly to make each of them feel valued.

Best case scenario will be that everyone there will put their conflicts to the side and focus on the reason why they are there. Worst case… umm let’s just focus on best case!

I hope these ideas help you and if you have any other tips then please feel free to let me know

C x